Morning Musings
by cherii tomato
Summary: There's no denying that early mornings are the times when you tend to flex your thinking skills just a little bit too much.


**Disclaimer: Gakuen Alice and all recognizable characters belong to Tachibana Higuchi**

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><p><strong>NOTE:<strong> I apologize if this story has been appearing in your alerts for more than once. FFn was was so flipping retarded these few days that whenever I post a story, an hour later, they tell me that the story can't be found, can't locate story id and all sorts of bullshit, so I had to delete it and re-post it once more. This is my third attempt in posting this. So once again, **I am very sorry. **

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><p>::Morning Musings::<p>

by

::cherii tomato::

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><p>May Madness #1<p>

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><p>At eight in the morning, you're already awake and staring blankly at the ceiling above you. Your wife is right beside you, her back against your arm and her rhythmic breathing is the only audible sound in the room.<p>

You wonder what in the world had made you wake up in such a godforsaken hour. Perhaps waking up at eight isn't a big deal to some, but to the people of your kind, those who are still groggy at noon, waking up at eight in the morning is something worth bragging about.

You get out from bed. Today is probably the best you have ever felt at eight. You wife stirs beside you and for a second there, your heart skips a beat from the fear that you've woken her up, only to see her falling deeper into her dreams.

As you walk out from the room, you wonder how everything happened. How is it that _the _Sumire Shouda, the girl who had her eyes set on Natsume Hyuuga and Ruka Nogi, two of _the most _popular guys in the Academy, ended up with _you_? Which actually makes you not her first choice, nor her second but her third.

And that thought simply does not sit well with you.

It gets you thinking: why did she choose _you_? There's nothing special about you. You're not breathtakingly handsome; you're not adorably cute. There's nothing eye-catching about you compared to Hyuuga or Nogi.

To make matters worse, even your own wife is ten times better looking than you are.

To put it simply: Sumire Shouda is ravishing. She's gorgeous and she knows it well. Her eyes that seem to penetrate deep into your heart can melt you with just one look; her nose that twitches whenever she's agitated can get you to your knees and do her every bidding; her lips that seem to have a mind of their own will always cause your heart to skip a beat with a simple smile. But the best feature she has are her long legs that seem to go one forever, the very same pair of smooth, toned legs you love running your hands over.

Sumire Shouda is beautiful, all right. Which make the probability of her actually falling in love with a man like you considerably low.

You wonder if she chose you because after facing so many rejections, she needed someone who can readily accept her and love her, which at that time, was you.

So in way, doesn't that make you her rebound guy?

If being the third choice already makes you queasy, then the thought of being a _rebound guy_ for the woman you're in love with just sends an arrow straight into your heart.

You were going to head downstairs to the kitchen but then you decide to make a detour into another room. Silently, you turn the knob on the door and push it open, careful not to make a single sound. You let yourself into a room that is shrouded in a mellow orange light coming from the nightlight in the room. From the minimal lighting, you're able to make out the shape of a child, curled up into a ball and fast asleep.

You make your way to the bed. The little sleeper has already scooted to the side of her bed where her army of plush toys stand, protecting her from the fearsome creatures that lurks in the darkness. You sit on the cold empty space next to her and smile when she sighs. You place a hand above her small frame and pat lightly, an action you've used countless times to lull her into sleep.

She's you heart, your princess, your angel, your little girl. Besides your wife, she's the only girl that matters the most to you.

She's perfect in every single way, your little girl, your little Ayako. In the six years of her existence, she had brought so much joy and happiness into your life you can ever imagine. You had thought that it was impossible for you to love anyone as much as you love Sumire, but the second you held your own baby in your arms, her little hand clutching onto your finger in that fateful April evening six years ago, you knew that you were wrong all along.

You little girl mumbles something in her sleep and turns over to you. There's a smile on her face that causes the corner of your lips to turn up to. Gently, you push away the hair that is on her face and watch her intently.

_She's a dead ringer for her mother_, you think to yourself. From the curly green hair to her fiery temper. There's no doubt that she's her mother's daughter. The things that serve as proof that she's yours are her charming dimples, her Alice and her sense of humour. Not to mention the distinctive mischievous glint in her eyes that appears every once in a while.

Your mind wanders off to the future. You know that Ayako will grow up one day she will definitely be one of the prettiest girls in school, just like her mother. By then there will be hoards of boys chasing after her at that time and you know that it's your job to make sure that none of them gets too close to your daughter until she's twenty-one with a shotgun in your hand.

Okay, maybe not twenty-one. Eighteen.

But sooner or later, you know that you will have to let her go. One day in the future, she will have a family of her own where she'll be a wife and also a mother. By then, you know that she will no longer belong to you and Sumire anymore.

A sudden fear clutch at your heart and your hold tightens around your daughter's frame. You don't want to ever let go of your precious baby. The thought of her leaving is already enough to cloud your vision with tears.

Then there's the Academy to be afraid of. Sooner or later, one way or another, they _will_ find out about Ayako and her Alice and they _will _take her away from you, neither you nor Sumire will be able to stop them. And if that really happens, then you won't be able to see your little angel again until she graduates.

Yes, the Academy is one of the best schools in Japan, staffed with the best teachers one can only wish for and the Academy has the best facilities no otherr school can offer; yes, the Academy was the place where you met your dearest friends and also your beloved wife; yes, the Academy has become a much safer place that how it was a fifteen years ago.

But no matter how good the facilities are, no matter how bright the future Ayako will have if she enrolls into the Academy, you don't want her to go there because you know that you won't be able to handle the pain when your little girl is no longer by your side and the chances of seeing her once more in the years she's there are pretty much close to non.

You know that you are selfish, but is it wrong for a father to want his daughter to grow up with her parents' love?

You think about your own parents. The Academy had taken you away from them when you were a five, only a year younger than Ayako's current age. And look at the drift that's between you and your parents. When you returned home thirteen years later, you remember the awkwardness in the air. Your parents became the people who only gave birth to you and took care of you in your fist five years of life. Nothing less, nothing more.

You don't want that to happen to Ayako. You know you'll rather die than to see that day coming true, where Ayako will return to a home that doesn't feel like one; you don't want to have a daughter that is only considered as family by the blood that flows through her body.

Sumire had always complained about how you're pampering Ayako to the extent of spoiling her. You've kept on saying that you will try to not indulge in her too much and the next thing you know, you've gotten her the doll she wants, when she already has hundreds of dolls scattered around her room.

But to be honest, you don't see what's wrong in spoiling your own daughter. You don't want to regret in the future, when she's all grown up or when you're no longer able to spoil her, that you didn't spoil her enough.

Regret not the things you did, but the things you didn't do, that's the motto you've been staying true to for your entire life. Ergo, you'd rather regret spoiling her too much than not at all.

Ayako mumbles incoherently in her sleep. You wonder what's going through that brain of hers right now and the dream that are causing the smile on her face. For a quick moment, you let your guards down and tap into her thoughts, only to be bombarded with a series of colourful images that consist of cakes and jelly and a mountain of dolls.

You couldn't help yourself as a chuckle escapes from your lips. It is then when the door opens and Sumire's head pops in. She stares at you and you can already feel yourself melting under her gaze, like ice under the hot sun.

"There you are," she says softly. You watch as she enters the room before closing the door soundlessly behind her. She walks towards you and the earlier thoughts that occupied your mind when you woke up invade your thoughts once more. Suddenly, you're afraid.

Sumire seems to have sensed your sudden discomfort because she slows to a stop and her eyebrows scrunch up in puzzlement. "Is something wrong?"

You can hear the blood that's rushing to your ears as you attempt to hide your disoriented emotions from showing on your face. For someone who read minds, it isn't exactly hard for other non-mind-readers to read your thoughts.

And Sumire is exceptionally good at it.

She takes a seat on the empty space beside you on the bed and touches your arm gently. "Tell me."

You can see the concern in her eyes; you can feel her love that's escaping through every single pore on her body; you can already taste her lips just by looking at them; you can hear her steady heartbeat in her chest, even if it's not against your ears.

You're no longer aware about anything that's around you but the woman that's sitting right in front of you. The girl who told you to smile; the girl you have had a crush on since you were ten; the girl you've watched chasing guy after guy and yet you couldn't do anything but get immensely jealous; the girl who told you that she loves you after crying on your shoulder for four hours; the girl who you kissed while you were both watching some crappy game show on TV; the girl you proposed to after years of courtship and two months of serious contemplation which kept you awake every night; the woman you stood at the altar with; the woman you promise to love and cherish through thick and thin, for richer or poorer, for better, for worse; the woman who gave you your daughter after nine months of hardship; the woman who stood by you whenever you're going through rough times; the woman who's always holding your hand and will never let you go.

The girl who you love and who also loves you too.

_What was I thinking? Of course she loves me. Of course she does._

"I love you," you whisper, "I love you so, _so_ much."

Sumire sighs and ruffles your hair before placing a kiss on your cheek. "I love you too, you silly boy. What were you thinking? Thinking that I don't, silly boy."

You're surprised for a second before remembering that she will always know what you're thinking. Even without a mind-reading Alice. "You knew."

She winks at you. "Of course, you're not _that _hard to read."

A grin breaks out on your face as you lean in to kiss her fully on the lips. It isn't until a while later do you two break off after hearing a giggle. You both turn your heads to see Ayako lying on her bed, her innocent green orbs staring at the both of you.

"Gross," she says while giggling. You reach out to tickle her gently on her stomach and her giggles transform into laughter and cries for mercy. You pull her onto your lap and kiss the top of her head, breathing in her grape and yoghurt shampoo.

"Morning there, sweetheart." You ruffle her hair. "What do you say about pancakes for breakfast?"

Ayako cheers gleefully before proceeding to tell you two all about her dream filled with cookies, candies and teddies galore. You cast a sideway glance at Sumire who has her chin propped up by her palm as she listens to her daughter rambling, a motherly smile on her face. You place an arm around her waist and pull her closer to you.

With two of your favourite girls in your arms, you know that you are the happiest man to be alive.

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><p>"Rebound guy. Pfft."<p>

"What?"

"Don't you think that if I needed a rebound guy, I would've at least try and fine someone who's better looking than Natsume Hyuuga?"

"Ouch, woman."

"Then again. I wasn't looking for a rebound guy."

"…"

"…"

"Then what were you looking for?"

"Someone who can make me happy."

"…"

"…"

"Have you found him?"

"…"

"…?"

"Yes. Yes I have."

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><p><strong>Yes. I'm attending May Madness and so should you. Check out my profile for more info. (:<strong>


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